Tv sucks

Sleep time.

Reflecting in my binge eating.

Chocolate chip cookie dough..ily

Source of my current depression.

Hyacinth.

So ive been reading this blog off and on. Damn do I envy this lady.

Getting ass left and right.

Damn I wish I had her confidence to expose my body just to feel satisfied.

But the fucked up part is that even if she gets all the dick in the world she still isn't whole.

She doesn't feel loved. And her dgaf lifestyle is preventing her for finding that missing piece.

Wow talk about opposites. Me and her.

At 22, I feel I don't need a cock to satisfy me. I need a good job and overflowing bank accounts.

Getting cold feet when I'm about to go and get fucked. Feeling too exposed. Do you become less Shameful with age? I hope so.

Lovemoney

I guess I'm depressed as fuck. I've got school loans that are driving me nuts. I want to move out of my house and the job I have now isn't up to par. I mean, I love my job and I'm doing what I love but the pay just isn't enough.

I want to find a second job but I'm tied to a contract. Imagine I get caught and get sued or some shit. Then I'll be totally screwed.

I just need someone to talk to. Someone who would tell me its going to be ok. Because the guy I "love" can't deal with emotions. I've tried telling him how I feel and all he can say is that he doesn't understand.

I'm usually so strong about things like this. However, something in me just snapped.

Is it wrong to wish to find a guy/man who is well off? I don't think so. But am I doing it for all the wrong reasons?

Maybe it's all these crazy books I've been reading (50 shades..bared to you) but these average girls have found some hot,filthy rich..yet fucked up men and found love. These book can really mess with your head. How can you love some who'd beat you or is totally psycho? I found myself envying these nutjobs despite the latter.

In all, I don't think I live a poor life cause I do hold my own. I have my own car and strive for what I want. But I couldn't have been set up for failure any better. College loans does crazy things to people. Education is so expensive. When it's time to better yourself you are stuck in a rut unless you were already better off.

I need to get off my ass and do something more.

I'm in a position where I want to escape.

I haven't felt this depressed in months and almost years if I may.

I need some time off.

All in all....

I wanna get the fuck out of my house.


....

I'm at the point where I say fuck the world.

Attitude.

Only those close to me matter.

Can't trust many people at once cause they're all phony.

That's why I tell em stay gold!

I need to escape.

I feel a full on depression coming on.

I'm at the point in my life where I need someone to love me. Not just someone I can love.

I feel lonely as fuck. :/

Haircuts can make you or break you

Well, this one definitely broke me.