i love everything about you that hurts...

wowersz..

my heart has been broken and mended..all in one week.
its like he doesnt know what he wants and at the same time I dont know what i want.

i love him whne i cant have him. and now that i do have him im all like ..blah..

argg i hate when he doesnt answer me..fuck..

he's my fucking baby..i love him..even tho it fucking hurts!

the guy i loved

To her surprise she didn't have to say a peep. he's always scared of getting caught and slowly pushing her aside. now she wonders "Who's searching for who now."

crushing her affectionate words with simple words like "it" and "can't" and "happen". slowly pushing her aside.

her true colors she showed and bland responses she received. his word meant the world to her, but they were obviously worth shit.

she daydreamed of a future where he laid down beside her. loving, caring and vulnerable. yet the day nor the dream surpassed reality.

his present and possible future was defined by the other that had already caught his eye. and hardheadedly she proceeded with her scheme.

she used the "L" word! what a mistake! she felt the pit of her stomach extend an extra few miles. her face glowed with glee after his respond, however it then hung in shame after his rejection!

SO now HE DARES to SPEAK to HER! when she had decided that HE is not worthy of HER L ..L...L...Love. after a day of silent treatment he eventually caves in and actually directs a few word for her ears only. And she GLADLY accepts them. forgetting THE PAIN and the Nothingness she felt in her life

He made her weak in the knees. and her weakness brought her to failure. her failure. trust. she trusted him.. she didnt care about his lover, she believe what he said was true.

there is someone behind the keyboard with a heart, and it belonged to her. his fingers spoke to her about a love that was never true.

holy fuck. i watched the movie closer the other day. just for the hell of it. i bought it cause of the fall out boy line..it tastes like you only sweeter, and the P!ATD lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, but its better if you do. i love it.

so the movie was off the hook.i love it. ima watch it over and over and over and over and over again.

so i found my love.
i love the way he is.
so sweet and caring
i just wish i knew how to act.
i wish i was more open.
i need some lessons
cause you know.. i suck at love.

having someone to love you is too complicated. you cant trust all of a sudden and every little thing they do gets you mad. how are we supposed to love if every little steps of the way we are pure anger and distrust. it sucks.

but i love him!

President Bush 02/02/06 5:30pm

President Bush is a coward. He doesnt deserve to be president of the united staes. he is doing many things behind our backs, and once we find out the truth, he can't back it up. he is tapping residents phones, and that is illegal. that is invading our privacy. i blieve he has no clue of how to managa a country. i could be a better president than him, and i have no interest in becoming one or of what jobs a president's got to do. all i know is that many soldiers are dying, and this war is going to end up like VIETNAM. MANY SOLDIERS DEAD,NO BIN LADEM,and of course NO OIL!

well it was 12 almost one.. i was minding my business on my steps then i hear this one guys saying.. "Cabron....puto..ven aqui....:curse:...:curse:..:curse:.." and he runs across the street while another guys runs after him. he runs up to a guy beats on him. That was the most random thing i have seen in a while. i wanted to call the police but i was still minding my business. it was funny. and im bored right now.

i found him. and im glad. well im not sure if i did. but this one surely tastes sweet. i love the way he is. and the funny thing is that im not even doing anything. maybe thats what love is. not trying spontaneous stuff surface, and it just is.

so today we went to the movies.. i feel like..wierd.. what the fuck is wrong with my enter key.. its not working..wow.. totally killed my post.. fuck this ..ill do it some other day when i totally forget whta i was gonna write about

Walk IT OUT

wow. im in love.
well not in love
im attracted to someone
not the type of guy i would fall for
but he's there, not an Abel, but he's there
i dont know. he make me feel good.
and i love it!

When Boredom strikes, crack your head open and look for the reasons you love him <3

today you showed me.
you showed me you cared.
you werent scared, and i felt it. i swear i felt it.

you wrapped your arms around me, and i know it took courage.
i wanted to kiss you but that was the last thing on my mind.
i wanted to be with you holding me like that for ever.
even if you held me for a few seconds.
i wonder what's next.
will you kiss me.
i will gladly.
i fucking love you.

im love the way i feel when im not with you. its like real LOVE. my heart beats fast.
just like its doing right now.

i love it when you touch me. my stomach tingles and hormones rage, i just wish you layed with me in my bed.
no, not sex, but cuddling.
our two hearts beating like one, passionate kisses one after the other.
kiss me, kiss me, but dont leave me.

leave her leave her. come with me. we are one, and i love you more than ever.

spill fiction when my back is turned..thats when you have an easy target

may not seem like it.
but im desperate.
love me
love me
love me
want me
want me
covet me
how can i touch you with out rejection. touch me, you wont be rejected
hold me hand! i said hold my motherfucking hand. i style just for you. only you. cause i kind of love you.

its been a year now.and its getting old. my heart is slowly loosing interest even thought your heart is spinning around my head.

sometimes i force myself to look at you to test my heart. just to feel that jolt inside. the warm shock you feel in your stomach, but its not there anymore. i feel indifferent. NO LOVE HIM. I know i do!

leave HER LEAVE HER. pick me. i love you
but i respect your decision. if your really loved me you would be with me at this moment. so your love for me is just like a train rolling in and out of town.

LOVE me!. i love your touch. touch me!.NOW!.i want you! do you want me!. no! your not the only one..But i still want you. be my first, or perhaps my last.

update me

depression has fallowed me this whole week. i have been totally out in softball. my magical fielding has lost its shine. whatever. im not that Wentz boy, i cant write my heart out.

i finally opened my bank account and i fell accomplished. today i tried hard as hell to get an MP3, since my ipod is fucked up to the max. sometimes people make me so effing depressed. i get attitudes from people i dont know. its actually sad the way people jump to conclusions. i hate them.

im buying my SP next week, along with the Red version, yellow, emerald, green leaf, and the dungeon one. shit pokemon is so fucking addictive.

on the 19th im going to see CIWWAF and im psyched as hell, fred is going to be playing with them so im going to try to get me CD signed by ALL of them..fuck jack marin, why did you leave?

on the 22nd im going to see Boys Like Girls and The Hush Sound. im happy as hell! MARTIN HERE I COMe!! haha

buying my BAmboozle tickets soon. i have been procastinating..or however you write that.. paramore on may 3rd, spiderman on the fourth...Spanish ap test on on the 6th...im going to fail im going to be concert high for days...wow

i think about you now more than ever.

im kind of leaving livejournal for ever now. im going to transfer all my shit here, since its all like more private and all. i'll keep my account tho. i still got some business with the SO. so yes, i go in to work at 7:30, and it not kool going to sleep late and i know. fuck..im sleep high, dont believe a word i say.

tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that i cant say...like..i love you

look around.... this place is fucked

friends fuck you over, they dont deserve to have me at all..i dunno what to fucking write today, i finally found my effing password. im such a loser. my mom saw my drunken pictures, i cant wait for april and the PW squire bass. im just fucking obsessing over the Paramore show, THS and BLG, and the 2 FOB shows in JUNE...im just and obsesser over. icantget my way out of things. i just suck like that. and i hate it. im back to smoking weed, and you know what.i think i dont regret it one bit. i want the party life back, i dont want to stay home and fell depressed over stupid shit like oh that dirty spot on the floor. no. im not like that. im not gonna stay like this.

o0oh bambozzle is coming, and to those that say money doesnt buy happiness, but you know what, its keeping me satisfied for the while. and then i go to hell.

Fixavicewithavice

Chamdale just called me asking her to accompany her on the phone to the church on 39th and New York ave. so i did. but that doesnt matter.

im so fucking pressured right now. i need to do a freeking book report and answer some stupid questions on Beowulf. the freeking cobra starship show with BOYS LIKE GIRLS!! and cartel is sold out!! i fucking procatinated, now im fucked, cause i dont have a ticket. and its killing me. i am so nervous i signed up for the NYC show on the 6th for OCK, at trl and sent an email to trl im sooo HAaaaaa i dont understand im lost in my own enigma. im not sure about what i should feel right now. its this nausiating feeling after you have drank a little bit too much milk...rotten milk...

AAAanxiety..brings me back to when i got hospitalized for sever cramps. the lady on the other side of the curtain was bawling. the nurse was trying to convince her to take Ativan. and she hard-headly refused. she screamed about how her husband was the crazy one, the one that should be taking the pills was him. her statement didnt help her at all, her nervousness and refusal made matters worse. well right now thats me.

iwanttobesomebody!

these shoes are 300 dollars,these shoes are 300 dollars,these shoes are 300 fucking dollars..i think you have too many shoes..shut up!

so now, tomorrow is my birthday, im somewhat nervous, i feel nervous. im hyperventilating, i should be doing my Algebra homework. im still a kid. i like school, just not most of the people in it. i can say i can get by with anything just as those "popular kids", im known, and there are no needs to slit my wrists and be all EMOtional about things. i do think low of my self at times, but everyone has one of those days. im very sentimental, though many might not think of me that way. i'm a great listener, but i dont know if im great at advices, cause i dont think my head makes good enough decisions for me, so why would it do for other.
Disaster.
i do things i set my mind to. if i wanna learn the whole HTML code for this page in 2 days i think i would be able to do it. i can force myself to like certain things. since most things in life are all mental, its just a matter of adjusting your mind. i can be very technical, yet not know what being technical is. my friend just tells me that a whole lot, and i have no intentions on looking it up in the dictionary.

i♥reading, i love books. my favorite author is James Patterson. and favorite series are Harry Potter and Charlie Bone. i love Murder mysteries, and suspense books, hence my choice of future career as a forensic researcher, or probably a detective. or just a famous psycho killer..lol.. just kidding (i want to be somebody).

im infactuated with the whole Glam, scene, and corruption of the common celebrity icon. i dont think that anyone would be able to get any dirt on me if i where a huge celeb. probably the amounts of money i would spend in Hot topic, Vans store, Chuck Taylor, and fall out boy, panic!, and other shows. and the fact that i would stalk Chris Brown, and have a love/hate relation ship with rap and Beyonce's music...weird huh..thats just a little bit of me...wait until i really start writting.

Change is kind of good...

wow.. i feel weird writing off of LiveJournal..but whatevers!!..i love writing!.yeah!