Lovemoney

I guess I'm depressed as fuck. I've got school loans that are driving me nuts. I want to move out of my house and the job I have now isn't up to par. I mean, I love my job and I'm doing what I love but the pay just isn't enough.

I want to find a second job but I'm tied to a contract. Imagine I get caught and get sued or some shit. Then I'll be totally screwed.

I just need someone to talk to. Someone who would tell me its going to be ok. Because the guy I "love" can't deal with emotions. I've tried telling him how I feel and all he can say is that he doesn't understand.

I'm usually so strong about things like this. However, something in me just snapped.

Is it wrong to wish to find a guy/man who is well off? I don't think so. But am I doing it for all the wrong reasons?

Maybe it's all these crazy books I've been reading (50 shades..bared to you) but these average girls have found some hot,filthy rich..yet fucked up men and found love. These book can really mess with your head. How can you love some who'd beat you or is totally psycho? I found myself envying these nutjobs despite the latter.

In all, I don't think I live a poor life cause I do hold my own. I have my own car and strive for what I want. But I couldn't have been set up for failure any better. College loans does crazy things to people. Education is so expensive. When it's time to better yourself you are stuck in a rut unless you were already better off.